Little boys don’t think about weddings the way little girls do. Often, when that time comes to ask that special lady to marry you, chances are you haven’t even given a second thought to who will “stand up” for you at your wedding ceremony. By this time, many women have their entire bridal party planned, but men’s brains work a little differently and choosing groomsmen and a best man will no doubt be a task that arises after a little push from the bride-to-be.

Of course, some men are an exception to this rule and may already have certain family members and friends in mind. But if you don’t, consider these guidelines for making the whole bridal party selection process as painless as possible.

Brothers and Other Family Members

Generally, family is given the first consideration when choosing men to be a part of the bridal party, whether they are given the task of Best Man, usher, or groomsmen. More often than not, if the groom has a brother to whom he is close, he is chosen as the Best Man.

If there is more than one brother, the groom may choose to have more than one Best Man but might also choose instead to have those other brothers act as groomsmen. To make them feel special, give them an additional task at the wedding, which might include reading a Bible lesson or perhaps – if they’re musically talented – singing an appropriate song at the ceremony or reception. The groom may also want other family members to be a part of the bridal party. Cousins are an especially popular choice. Little cousins can also be “junior” ushers or ring bearers.

Friends

Often, choosing which friends will act as groomsmen is the toughest choice of all. If you have just a few close friends, then there’s no problem. But if you have a large cadre of men from which to choose, decisions can be difficult, and even big, burly men can have their feelings hurt.

So, when pondering which friends to choose, make a list of those you are considering and look at each one carefully. Ask yourself a few questions about each. For example, how long have you known that individual? Have they stuck by you in difficult times? Will they make your day fun and memorable? Do they get along with others? Do they like your choice of mate? And…finally…can they afford the financial responsibilities that go along with being a groomsman; i.e. renting a tux, throwing a bachelor party, chipping in for a gift?

Once you’ve gone down the list, look at the ones that got the most “yesses”. Consider them as one package and decide whether or not they make a viable group of groomsmen. Make adjustments if necessary.

Remember, most of all, you want men who will not only take up the physical duties of the groomsmen but also men who will emotionally support you in the days prior to the wedding and on your special day. Men need support too and having a group of reliable, friendly, and fun guys at your side when your wedding day arrives is something special!